My last day

So, today is my last day affiliated with the school I work for (well, affliliated by paycheck), and it’s fitting that not a single soul is showing up for tutoring. I think I’ve been tutoring since March each week and only two people have ever come in.

But especially today as I have countless other things I should be doing with my time, I am stuck in this computer lab with my throat growing extremely dry (there’s no food or drinks allowed in the room) and nothing to do. Seriously. Only an hour and a half have gone by. Geesh. I’m seriously thinking about calling in sick at my other job. (It wouldn’t be a complete stretch. I feel completely tired out and do feel the hint of something coming on. If I get sick for starting my new job…)

So, this day, as many such days in my life, seems like such an unceremonious departure. It’s funny how much of ourselves we put in to what we do. And in the end, folks always seem to remind us that there’s always someone else out there that can easily fill our shoes.

********************************************************************

Here’s what I should be doing with this time:

Reading more of The Shack. I have really fallen out of reading, one of my big joys in life. But this book has been extremely difficult for me to get into. I just can’t get past the whole thing of God allowing such horrible things to happen in this world. I know it all makes sense outside of my understanding (and getting to that point is one of the biggest points of this story), but it’s such a struggle to get there.

Writing something. Is it possible to lose all of your creativity? I feel like I have. I so desperately need a muse or kick in the butt or something. Each time I attempt to write, I feel like I have nothing. Am already washed up before I even get started?

Taking a nap. Seriously, I wish I could fall asleep right now. I am so bored. These tutoring session have felt like punishment to the instructor. I sit in a computer lab for four hours all alone with no human interaction, food, or water. I’m so not going to miss spending my Friday mornings this way. So, is cubicle life better? Please it is.