Walk; don’t run

Imagine these words:

Stop running in the halls
Before you slip and fall.
Think it ooo-ver!

Now, can you hear them sung to the Supreme’s Stop in the Name of Love? When we were in elementary school, my friend Penny penned that little song as teachers repeatedly tried to get us little kids to slow down. As kids, we always opted for speed and felt invincible. Nothing would happen to us; teachers were just mean, bitter adults. But in truth, they were only looking out for our well being and safety.

Growing up in this culture of instant gratification, so many of us think that the moment we have in our minds that we want something, we’re supposed to get it. Our pastor preached this morning on how we always seem ready to run and leap into things without proper preparation.

That’s been too true too often in my life. I admit, I want everything now: the awesome career, God-given mate, beautiful kids, success, enough money to stop worrying so much about money … And all of it will come in due time. I just have to remember to continue to put the work in and prepare for the good stuff that is to come. Just as I am preparing, God is also preparing the way for me. I just have to slow down.

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For a good word, be sure and check out Wave Church.

What’s a girl to do?

This past week away from work has truly been amazing for me.

It started out smoothly on the way to Atlanta. I admit, I was extremely apprehensive driving out about 45 minutes to Newport News to catch my flight. Planes these days seem to make me nervous, and my sleepy dash to the airport didn’t seem to ease that at all.

But I was able to meander through traffic effortlessly, until I missed my exit. 

What was I to do? Suddenly, it started raining and cars began to pile up in front of me and time continued to march on. And just getting off at the next exit turned into a long, time consuming task. (Who knew the next exit wasn’t going to be for a couple of miles down the road?) Once I got off, however, I was surprised at how easy it was to backtrack my way to the airport.

And as I found my way to a cheap parking lot, things just seemed to come into place. The minute I pulled my bag out of the truck and questioned how wet I’d get sloshing my way to checkin, a free shuttle pulled up right next to me. And as I boarded the plan, my anxiety about not paying the extra $6 to pick out my own seat each way disappeared as I found myself seated in an aisle seat (my favorite choice), not too far back in the plane. And the ride to Atlanta was surprisingly smooth—my first turbulence-free flight in years.

Once I got off of the plane and made my way toward baggage claim, all of my worries melted away as I encountered two big chunks of my heart materialize in human form in front of me: Taryn, one of my oldest and dearest friends in the world, and her daughter, my new god-daughter, Sydney Ali, the new apple of my eye.

My time in Atlanta celebrating Taryn’s marriage, meeting her husband, meeting all of her girlfriends, seeing her mom and sister, getting to see how big her niece has gotten, taking care of Syndey and catching up on lost time was exhausting, yet energizing. It was exactly what I’d needed.

While I’ve embraced Virginia Beach as an adventure for me, it has been an extremely lonely one. But it has been one that has made me so much more appreciate all of the people in my life that truly love me and provide those touchstones and sounding boards in my life.

And after I returned back to Virginia and had a day of much needed sleep, I began to miss my Syndey and Taryn so much!! But then it was time for the Wave Church Conference…

These past few days spent at church have been amazing! And to think, I actually thought about not showing up. Seriously, I’d paid for it all, but I thought about just sitting at home throughout the session and kind of just thinking about the money spent toward my registration as just a donation to the church.

But each day, I have been so inspired by such speakers as Judah Smith, Mark Crow, Joel Houston, Bayless Conley, Carl Lentz, and Chris Hill. If you want to know all about it and all about how the whole week has been such a blessing, I’ll tell you in detail, as I have told my mom and friend Arturo. But I can’t begin to write all about it here.

What I can say is that it was exactly what I needed at this point in my life and all of the messages pointed to one word that felt like it was just for me. God had a purpose for me being here this week.

But no sooner than hearing about how much God has in store for us and how much He wants to do in our lives and how the enemy tries to regularly attack our thoughts, my mind was almost immediately under attack.

Just as I finished telling my mom about how amazing the week had been and how excited I was about going home to celebrate my 30th birthday and be surrounded my friends and people that truly love me, I searched to travel Web sites to find that I can no longer afford to come home. 

For a little more than a month, I have been waiting for my editor to decide who gets off for Thanksgiving and who has to stay and work. But after she still has yet to get back to us all, I decided that I would just chose to fly out of Virginia the day after Thanksgiving instead. Only now, I can no longer find plane tickets that I can afford. 

While I know that this is not the end of the world, it this moment, it feels like it. Yet, I recognize that this is an enemy attack on my thoughts. How can I put into action the lessons I learned this week? How will I not shrivel in defeat at the first sign of adversity? What’s a girl to do?

A preacher’s wife

Not too many people know this about me, but a few years back I was considering what it would be like to be a certain pastor’s wife (how serious this ever was, I’m not too sure). As I have lost most contact with that person, those thoughts have also been tossed into my mind’s abyss. Yet, they resurfaced today.

I don’t know. Do I really have what it takes to be a pastor’s wife? Me, a temperamental, passionate person who always speaks my mind? Do I even have such grace for the job?

Grace. That’s exactly what came to mind this morning when I went to Starbucks for my iced caramel latte fix. As I stepped into the nearby shop and up to the register, I immediately spotted Pastor Sharon Kelly from Wave Church. I must say, she is as inviting in person as she seems to be each Sunday morning. I wanted to go right up to her and say hello. But then I started taking stock of what I looked like.

While it could have been worse (hey, I’m trying to work on it), I didn’t feel like I should introduce myself to anyone in my yoga pants, sandals and army shirt layered over a green tank top. Admittedly, this would have all been cute if I were, say, twenty pounds lighter. But I’m not, so I felt like a mess. And so I admired her from a far as I waited for the barista to whip up my drink.

As I walked out of the store, drink in hand, I began to wonder if Pastor Sharon really does look that put together all the time. Probably. It must be hard to know that everywhere you go, people are watching you. Could I ever deal with such pressure?

Truth be told, people are always watching us. Or at least we should try to live our lives as such. I mean, not always care so much about what people think, but making sure our words speak truth to our walk.

That’s one to remember the next time I head out to run my errands.